fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
I tend to have this problem, wherein I am usually a firm believer in an afterlife and reincarnation, but sometimes - usually at night when I'm trying to go to sleep - I get worried and terrified of death, thinking "What if there is no afterlife? What if there is no soul and nothing happens to us at death but blinking out of existence?"1 Well, since my main Goddess is a Chaos Goddess, I wrote up something that started as an attempt to make a simple chant or mantra or something to reassure myself that, if that turns out to be the case, it won't matter then. But I had too many ideas to fit into one mantra, so I made an entire poem about it. And here that is:

“Chaos To Chaos”
By = Tempest Alexandria Arts (Fayanora)

From Chaos I came and to Chaos I will return.
“I” am a complicated dance of quintillions of tiny points of energy, and my soul is the choreographer.
When the choreographer departs and the dance is over, the dancers will join other dances.
We're all choreographers of our own dancing energy, the only choreographers we can know in this life.
“I” am a temporary pattern in the chaos, in a temporary world, in a temporary universe;
All of us patterns in the Chaos,
Ever changing from second to second,
All of us sand paintings in the wind.

From Void I came and to Void I will return.
My life is a pebble in a pond, making ripples, the only thing left of my life when I am gone.
I shall not fear death, for I am not real;
I am like a virtual particle blinking in and out of existence, in the grand scheme of things;
A virtual particle in a holographic universe, the Multiverse every bit as ephemeral.
All of it whispers heard in static,
“Objective reality” via shared programming,
All of it a hard drive in an EMP.

From Naught I came, and to Naught I will return.
I shall not fear death, for I am just a temporary tempest of what-ifs and uncollapsed quantum states.
I am a hurricane contemplating its own eventual landfall.
I am a raindrop watching the ground approach at speed, contemplating the sudden stop.
I am a single breath, from the lungs to the blood, contemplating being exhaled.
All of us lightning in a storm,
Gone as quickly as we appear,
And all the world is the storm.

From Change I came, and to Change I will return.
I am like Jupiter's Great Red Spot, in a constant state of stable chaos.
But like all things, the stability will fail, the tempest will fall apart.
We are never not Change, it is the only constant in life;
Even death is just one facet of Change.
All of us are hurricanes,
Complex, multi-layered, and doomed to landfall,
But spinning off descendants before we do.

From Death I came, and to Death I will return.
My life is a fire, my body made of the ashes of other patterns tossed like logs onto my fire.
When my fire goes out, I will be a log tossed on the fires of other beings,
My ashes recycled, remade, reused; Life and Death eternal dance partners,
Entropy and Enthalpy embrace like lovers on the dance floor.
Gaia's biosphere is the phoenix,
Dying and being reborn from its own ashes;
The biosphere is Ouroboros eating itself.

From Peace I came, and to Peace I will return.

~ ~ ~

1 = Note that I never worry that the afterlife is worse, like Hell or something. I either believe in my own version of the afterlife, or I worry death is final.
fayanora: Pi stationary (Pi stationary)
Drew Pi ([personal profile] svaenohr today, in one of zir female forms. It is loosely based on this image. Here is the picture I drew:

Under the cut for size )
fayanora: doughnut (doughnut)
Molly Elizabeth's very strange version of "I know an old lady who swallowed a fly."
Very long, extremely silly )

Glik'Mwihl

Feb. 12th, 2015 09:26 am
fayanora: SK avatar (Default)
Just spent several hours coming up with yet another Traipahni syllabary. Why? To simplify things, of course. First, the characters are more unique, making it harder to confuse them, which should make it easier to read. The characters are also simpler whenever possible, making them easier to write. And I've introduced a syllable seperator character (what the apostrophe does when I write it in Roman alphabet, for instance pah'fah'shen'tah) that eliminates the need for characters like AHL, OOR, EER, and so on. So there are only 46 characters in this version, including punctuation marks. Whereas Ahndahn's Alphabet has like 56 or so, and Dven'Bahnis has at least twice that many. Also consolodated the hard H, hard K, and hard G into one character, as they all sound identical (like clearing your throat).

Oh, and I came up with a cursive version too. Actually I did that one first, to give me ideas for the non-cursive version. Since some of the characters in the non-cursive version are easy to write, but impossible in the cursive version, some sounds have entirely different characters between the two versions. My favorite part is that, in both AA and DB syllabaries, the characters for H, J, L, and M are the same character just turned at different angles, which was always confusing. But in this new syllabary, I was very careful about rejecting characters that are too similar to one another. Which involved using some of the cursive characters in the non-cursive version (or non-cursive versions of the cursive characters).

I hereby dub this new syllabary Glik'Mwihl, which means Simple Word.

I have yet to enter Glik'Mwihl into a computer. I shall do that later.

Funny image

Nov. 2nd, 2014 05:41 pm
fayanora: Steph laugh by ponyboy (Steph laugh)
I just had an awesome character appear in my mind: A paraplegic woman who uses custom-built race car wheelchairs. The image came to mind in the context of someone at a red light looking over to see her in one of her wheelchairs. She looks at him, guns her motor a few times. The light turns green, her tires squeal, and she shoots off down the road like a bat out of Hell, leaving the guy in his car behind in her tire smoke, coughing and looking bewildered.

Note: Not sure how, but her race car wheelchairs still look like wheelchairs somewhat. Two big wheels in back, two little wheels in the front. Some kind of locking door thing holds her in place, which she opens to get out of the wheelchair.

OMG, new image related: One of her wheelchairs resembles a monster truck, and is totally bad-ass. She has to use a hoist to get in and out of it. Or maybe an elevator? Anyway, it’s awesome.
fayanora: Dakota & Elle by LJ user dancingwithme (Dakota & Elle)
I love it when I'm just as excited to be writing a chapter as I would be to be reading it, trying to keep up with the ideas, to type fast enough to get them down. It's exhilarating when the story is so engaging that writing becomes more important even than Netflix, or Tumblr, and almost more important than food!

At least, with my writing style, which is basically "1. Think of the essentials of what you want to happen in the story/chapter. 2. Set up the initial conditions. 3. Let your characters loose, nudging them back in line on occasion as needed."
fayanora: Elle Fanning by LJ user bitemeee (Elle Fanning)
Very annoying: Wrote a chapter of Lyria novel months ago, seem to have misplaced it.

EDIT: Found it! YAY!
fayanora: Steph Chloe Awesome (Steph Chloe Awesome)
Two drawings under the cut )

Top picture: "Molly Specs," a picture I drew of my inner child Molly Elizabeth, a blonde, blue-eyed, 7 year old member of the Djao'Mor'Terra Collective.

Bottom picture: A close up of Molly's face from the first picture.

Click pictures for larger versions.

EDITED TO ADD: If not for their large size and the servers not liking those large sizes, I would have included the full version of the picture, which includes a wooden dresser drawer that I spent about an hour or two drawing. Oh well.
fayanora: Steph Chloe Dartagnan (Steph Chloe Dartagnan)
I was thinking about Gosgolot, the main religion of the Duenicallo of Traipah, again. Specifically about their terror of their sun, which they call The Howler Into The Void, among other titles. And I had this sudden vision of another sect of Gosgolot, a potentially heretical sect, that - while they still fear The Orphanmaker, they believe that the stars in the sky, along with Water's Demise, are "howling" into the void for a reason. They don't believe it's simply "marking territory" like the main Gosgolot religion preaches. Instead, they believe that all those stars are in fact singing, in a trillions-strong chorus, but not out of some kumbaya kind of feeling. No, the Singers Into The Void, horrifying as they all are, are singing in order to keep closed the gates on something much more terrifying. Something so mind-shatteringly vast and terrible that it takes the combined efforts of trillions of magic-wielding enormous fire giants (the stars) to keep it at bay, and would devour the entire universe if it got in.

Because of that belief, these heretics attempt to help out in their own small way by attempting, somehow, to worship the sun without calling its attention to them. After all, the sun is still a horrifying monster that can wipe out entire planets as easily as a man can squash a beetle. But just the fact that they *try* to worship the sun at all would probably get them attacked by other Gosgolots, maybe even killed. Hence, heretics.

Thought of a name for the heretical sect: SkriishyoHK [scree-shy-(oak with a throat-clearing sound)]

Yup, SkriishyoHK - For those who believe the Gosgolots don't have enough imagination.
fayanora: Elle Fanning by LJ user bitemeee (Elle Fanning)
So I just got the sudden inspiration to write the following:

My name is Katelynn Hermione Winters, and for most of my life I was an ordinary American girl born and raised in small-town Iowa. I lived an unremarkable life in an unremarkable town in the most boring part of the state. I was neither super-popular nor was I unpopular. I got fair grades but I was never a nerd. Sure, I read for pleasure sometimes, but never anything weird. Just shallow pre-teen kinds of stories, no science fiction or anything like that. Looking back, I wish I had. It might have prepared me for what my life would become.

It happened toward the end of a perfectly ordinary day. I was in my bedroom laying on my back in the bed, talking with my best friend Chelsea on my cell phone about my crush Brandon. Quite suddenly I blinked and everything was different. I was suddenly a 4'5" Vietnamese man wearing a parka and sitting in a grey room surrounded by tall sinister men in tall sinister suits, pointing guns at me and speaking in rapid Hungarian. I tried to ask what was going on and how I'd gotten there, and heard myself speaking Vietnamese. One of the sinister men lifted his gun higher and pulled the trigger. There was a flash of light and a bang, and suddenly I was back in my own body, in my room. But ever since that day, I have had a Vietnamese man named Nguyen Bao living in my head with me. I know only he was the man in the vision, because I don't understand Vietnamese, don't know how to write it or pronounce it to find out what he's saying, and in all these years he has never learned any English; I don't know why.

What's more, Chelsea reported that during the vision part of the phone call I had been speaking rapidly in "some Asian language," a distinct note of panic in my voice. The noise had even gotten the attention of my mom, who was down the hall, though by the time she opened the door, I was standing there, shocked, having just returned from my vision.

He, and the vision I had of him, was the first. He would not be the last. And his wasn't even the strangest vision; in fact, it was the most normal of them all.
fayanora: by lj user holdonbaby (Elle looks up)
“Little Spark”
By = Tempest Alexandria Arts/Fayanora (Tristan A. Arts)

Take that little ember, take that little spark
And pull it on up and out of the dark.
Cup it in your hands and set it on some wood,
Gently blow upon it; yes, that's good.
Now watch that little spark grow into a blaze,
Flourishing under your compassionate gaze,
Til it becomes an inferno twenty feet high,
A tornado of flames reaching into the sky!
For this is the power of your inner spark,
Once you pull it on up and out of the dark.
fayanora: Phoebe in Wonderland by LJ user bitemeee (Phoebe in Wonderland)
This little fairy figurine of mine, who came with plastic wings, lost her wings at some point. So I made her some new wings with paper, pencil, and oil pastels. Affixed the wings with some Outdoor Mounting Tape. Please excuse the crappy webcam quality pictures:

Under zee cut )
fayanora: Phoebe in Wonderland by LJ user bitemeee (Phoebe in Wonderland)
Ayil'Kwahl'Ahgorah, Lady of the Wires,
And all the joys the Internet inspires,
Please unblock the clogs and speed my connection,
And put my computers under Your protection.

Please open the Facebook when it tries to stay closed,
And make all the servers work as they're supposed,
Please uncage the Twitter, keep the Tumblr rocking,
And stop any Net Nannies from their annoying blocking.

Give the LiveJournal CPR if there's a need,
And outfit my laptop for lightning-fast speed;
Keep the YouTube clear of clogs in the pipes,
And pave the way for my IM's and Skypes.

Please break down the walls that block all the bytes,
And keep the wifi running all day and all night.
Aid all the torrents and their data flood,
If You need it, I could offer my blood.

Ayil'Kwahl'Ahgorah, Thou art Motherboard,
So please help me out, waiting's got me bored.
Protect me from malware, smite spyware and worms,
And horribly evil Conditions And Terms.

And most important of all, stop the evil SOPA,
From letting corporations take the Internet over.
May scammers and spammers be wiped from the C:/
Ayil'Kwahl'Ahgorah, please help me.

Turnaround

Mar. 13th, 2014 11:53 pm
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
Normally I have been drawing at home and uploading things at Starbuck's. But today I drew the Eye of Grah'Bahn at Starbuck's and uploaded it at home! :-D

Under the cut )
fayanora: SK avatar (Default)
A thought I had earlier, is I think I may turn on the screen capture video program I have when I set about drawing a new Eye of Grah'Bahn picture, so I can post the video to YouTube. Only problem will be, YouTube only lets free users have like 9 or 10 minute videos, so it would have to be broken into chunks. But it would be cool to show how I draw stuff on the computer.
fayanora: Steph Pensive (Steph Pensive)
Embarked on a bit of an unintentional experiment. Last Sunday, I decided to leave my laptop home when I went to meet Lilla, and instead took my sketch book and drawing supplies with me. It took me several hours of drawing to make what I made, a really awesome realistic picture of Molly Elizabeth, my inner child.

When I got home, I scanned it into the computer and then began tracing the lines so I could colorize it in the computer. I spent a bunch more hours on it doing that, and starting on the colors. Made a lot of progress on the colors; even made a start on the skin tone.

I worked on it for several hours more on Tuesday, shading the skin and fairy wings she's wearing, and adding the background.

First, the original drawing:

Under the cut for size. )

And now, without further ado, is the finished product. Be warned, it is very brightly colored:

Big, of course. )

I will also be uploading an icon version to use for the post.
fayanora: by lj user holdonbaby (Elle looks up)
I've been really productive lately, like super productive. Part of it is, I think, the fact that I haven't forgotten a single anti-depressant since I started giving myself reward stickers each day I did it. I have a terrible memory, you know, but it seems associating it with something fun like that really works. But it seems that being on this anti-depressant regularly is like Tahrah-Taynah (Deity of Creativity) and Ahg'Tahrah (Deity of Poetry, Music, and Art) have opened my skull and poured concentrated creativity and drive into me.

Another part of it is less wonderful. Once I get into The Zone, I tune out everything else, even my own body. My eyes never seem to get tired looking at a computer screen, either, at least not until I snap out of The Zone. I zone out so much that when I do finally snap back to reality, I find that many hours have passed. Why just the other day, I spent five hours straight working on this picture of Molly I was colorizing. I finished, took a break for eating and watching Hannibal and Supernatural, then went back to work on a different project. When I came to myself again, another six hours had passed, and I was starving. I may have to start setting an alarm for every three hours so I make sure to eat often enough. I think I ought to see if I can find one for the computer, though, because Amy can hear my phone's alarm from the other room, and I don't wish to wake her. Since I wear my headphones to listen to music while working, I would be able to hear such an alarm but she wouldn't.

I'd say that at this rate, I'll have all 40-some of my Deities drawn in a few months, but honestly there are some that have no form, others too minor to bother with, and a few I don't have the skill to draw the way I want to. Like Kriioh, Deity of the cold; She has skin and hair that's many shades of white and blue, and is striated like certain glaciers you can find pictures of online; She also has eyes like white ice with hairline fractures in it. I can picture Her quite plainly, but I have no idea how I would even *begin* to draw that.

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