fayanora: SK avatar (Default)
They say the third time's a charm. In this case, literally. Specifically, a third type of magic that is tied to specific deities from my pantheon. Shao-Kehn's magick has always been red-orange, like flames, and sometimes silver like metal. The magick of Ayil'Kwahl'Ah'Gorah, Deity of Computers, electronics, and the Internet, is a whitish silver, best in the form of little circuits that spread across the screen, or in a net across the screen, shimmering into sight on Will-full inhales and exhales. And now, Jiijiinis and Alorno, twin deities of health and healing, their magic blue and looking a bit like water.

I wonder if others will appear?
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)

A Thanksgiving Day Blessing


I participate in the Circle of Life,
I participate in the Circle of Death,
I participate in the Spwii'Ny'Py.1

Many Thanks to my plant & animal siblings that gave their lives so my own may continue!
As I devour your flesh, I pray I will live a life worthy of your sacrifice.

I apologize, my Brethren, for any suffering you may have endured in life at the hands of my fellow humans,
And I hope you are at peace now in the Between-Life,
Or else Ferried back through the Waterfall from the Between-Life to your new lives.
Either way, I hope you are at peace.

As I eat, I remember that I will one day be eaten in turn,
My own flesh devoured and made into new flesh, new life.
I am thankful for this beauty and wonder.

We are all tempests, hurricanes of energy, galaxies of atoms,
Dancing, colliding, devouring, changing.
The dancers change, but the dance is eternal.
I am thankful we have had this dance.

Sahn-kia, da-zirrovais seh thiiah ahshah; Koh Soh La Kohrain.2






















A brief analysis: As I wrote this, the mythos expanded. The Between-Life (Land of Eternal Childhood) doesn't have gates the way some Afterlives do, it is a realm separated from the realm of the living by an infinite falling of water from the Wellspring, one of the three major Powers of the Omniverse. (There's The Void, The Heart of the Chaos, and The Wellspring, representing nothingness, chaos, and order respectively.) Shyao'Shyoh, one of Djao-Kain's Aspects, ferries the dead to the Between-Life, through the Waterfall. I do not know if She ferries them on the return trip or not, but I'm getting the sense that She doesn't.

Anyway, this whole thing made me start thinking of reincarnation like a kind of water cycle; death is evaporation, the Between-Life is clouds, and then rebirth is rain.

1 = Spwii'Ny'Py: Circle of Life/Death

2 = Translates to "Many-Thanks, spirits of my food; You Are The All."
fayanora: Chloe (Chloe)
Got some face painting sticks, IE face paint in a marker type form, from Amazon. The bit on my hand is a test, the shape is the symbol for the SH sound from the syllabary (alphabet, but each character is a specific sound) for my Trai’Pahg’Nan’Nog conlang. Once the test had been on there for hours without any sign of reaction, I drew the Eye of Grah’Bahn design on my arm.

I got these face paint sticks because I had an idea about drawing sigils and other symbols on myself with them, for magick/ritual purposes, as well as for another way to express myself. I’m pondering making stripes or something on my arms, like some of my deities have.

Pictures under the cut.

I'ma cut you! )
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
My brain gave me a funny image just now, an image I will have to pre-explain a bit before I reveal it.

If you're new, or you just forgot, or you never knew the full gravity of it, one of the major religions of Traipah is a religion called Gosgolot (all the o's in it say their names, IE gohs-goh-loht). Gosgolot's teachings state that the universe is unimaginably old, unimaginably enormous, and unimaginably terrifying. They do not name their Gods, out of fear that saying the names would attract their attention, and one does not generally want the attention of Gosgolot deities. (One exception is Zyao'Ḥyn (zyow-[throat-clearing][I as in "eye"]n), their version of Shao'Kehn, but that's another story.) The most notable of these Nameless Gods is their sun, which non-Gosgolots call Naipah. (This is acceptable to Gosgolots because Naipah is not actually the star's name, according to their ancient texts.) They refer to the sun by a myriad of euphemistic titles like The Howling One, The Widowmaker, Howler Into The Void, Water's Demise, etc.

Gosgolot, interestingly, predates any kind of science that would have given them the idea of a vast, cold, merciless universe. When science confirmed the size of the universe prior to The Reformation, the one group that took the news the best was the Gosgolots, who felt vindicated. Gosgolot is basically a religion in which ideas the likes of which you'd see in Lovecraft's works are taken seriously; very seriously. Their scripture reads like horror stories, though interestingly on a larger scale, the universe - vast and old as it is - is just one of countless infinities of universes, all of which are living beings that are born, grow old, breed, and die; making everything that happens in our universe just the inner workings of a lifeform that - in its own time scale - exists for but a blink of an eye in the lifespan of the greater multiverse, a Megaverse as large and terrifying to our universe as our universe is to us, and then the proverbial "turtles" all the way both up AND down.

So the funny image my brain gave me was a meeting between a Gosgolot and a Christian Creationist. The Gosgolot would find the Creationist's earth-centric view laughable naive, the idea that the planet was only 5 or 6 thousand years old would probably cause them to die from busting a gut laughing, and if they survived that, they'd think the idea of a god as powerful as Yahweh being benevolent was fucking insanity! Especially after reading the Bible. After reading the Bible, doubtless they would have another God to be terrified of.

More under the cut )
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)


Picture I drew of one of the Aspects of my primary Deity, Djao’Kain. The Aspect’s name is Shao’Vara. Xe is an Aspect representing Death, Mystery, the Death Mysteries, and the transformative side of death. Xer face is covered by a featureless mask to represent mystery (especially the mystery of the Afterlife) as well as the faceless and uncaring truth of death. Xe is wrapped in a burial shroud (in the culture on Traipah that Xe is from, burial shrouds are black), and the hands holding fire are both torches and symbols of pallbearers; though in that culture, pallbearers don’t carry a body to be buried, they carry it to where the corpse can be liquefied. The liquefied remains are fed to Memorial Trees, which are old-growth trees fed the remains of everyone from a particular family that dies, with plaques installed in their trunks. Those plaques have names, birthdates, and death dates of those whose remains were fed to the tree. Traipah has whole forests full of Memorial Trees, called Memorial Forests.

The three moons of Traipah are also visible in this picture. One is full, two are crescent. One of the crescent moons is tiny, right to the left of Shao-Vara’s head. The paved road is mainly to try to give a sense of perspective. Shao’Vara, wrapped in Xer burial shroud, kneels on a cliff. Not pictured is the ocean the cliff is overlooking, because I didn’t know how to draw that in a way that added to the mystery (or at least did not subtract from it).

I originally wanted to draw Shao’Vara as Xe first appeared to me in a vision, where Xe was nude and emaciated, with one saggy breast and another shriveled up, but I didn’t know how to draw that.
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
This post is about the different Aspects of Shao'Kehn/Djao'Kain. I've put the older ones under the cut, leaving the newest ones visible. You will need this link if you don't already know IPA.

Full list under the cut )

17. Shao'Jo [ʃaʊ dʒoʊ] AKA The Musician – While Djao'Ide dances, Shao'Jo plays the music She dances to.

18. Shao'Vara [ʃaʊ vɑ: ə] AKA The Masked Stranger – Represents silence, mystery, the unknown, The Void, and death. Wearing a faceless, eyeless mask made of Creation Onyx, Her skin white as bleached bone (differing from most Shao'Kehn Aspects that way; most are brown skinned), Her nails yellowed and cracked, Her hair long and black and sleek (different texture from most SK Aspects), and one breast is tiny and undeveloped while the other is withered and saggy. She is almost skin and bones, having very little muscle or fat mass.

Shao'Vara stands ramrod straight and unmoving on a pedestal of Creation Onyx on a cliff overlooking a black, roiling sea. There are two of the three Traipahni moons in the sky overhead; one is waxing, the other is waning. The third is technically there, but is. Both moons are low in the sky and look tired. (The third is not there, to represent the dead.) The wind blows, but Her hair does not move even a little. She in unaffected by the cold. Shao'Vara does not move, does not speak, but She listens (though She gives no indication that She is doing so). The only part of Shao'Vara that ever moves is an ancient, tattered black death shroud behind Her (on Traipah, their death shrouds are black, not white); what part of Her it's attached to, if any, is unknown. Even it barely ever moves.

The cliff She stands on is an island, with a rickety rope and wood plank bridge leading to it from the mainland. Sometimes She lets you walk back to the
mainland when you're done conversing with Her; other times, the bridge collapses, or the part of the island you're standing on crumbles into the sea, taking you with it. Still other times, the whole planet crumbles and tumbles into a black hole, without Shao'Vara moving at all.

Her ramrod straightness and stiffness represents rigor mortis. The occasionally-moving funerary shroud represents the stage after rigor where the body goes soft again, as well as everything else a funeral shroud represents.

She will not let you approach too closely. She will not let you remove Her mask. You probably would not like what you saw behind Her mask if you did get a chance to remove it; whatever is back there is likely too horrible to imagine.

It is unknown if She could speak if She wanted to; if She did, the voice would probably be horrifying to hear. And since She represents a corpse, She would never move. She can respond, though, in other ways: the sudden appearance of animals, for instance, or other omens; changes to your own body; changes to Her body; changes to the landscape or sky; etc. Or perhaps intense visions. She's representative of the unknown and the mysterious, so anything is possible with Shao'Vara.

Shao'Vara's Aspect name comes from Shao'Kehn and from "vara," the TPNN word for "any."

Yes, there is another Death Aspect, Shyao'Shyo, but She is much different from Shao'Vara. Shyao'Shyo is very friendly and personable, especially compared to Shao'Vara. Shyao'Shyo comforts the dead and dying; Shao'Vara is the discomfort of death incarnate.

BOGEF

Aug. 6th, 2015 06:27 am
fayanora: Djyahlah (Djyahlah)
On Tumblr, I added a comment to a post about neo-pantheons by mentioning my own, and someone said something that prompted me to give a reply I feel is worth repeating here.

Their bit:

that’s sort of what i’ve done with mine, i created two deities for a story of mine and i feel really connected to them. though i’d have to worship them quite differently to how their followers in the story do, as theres a lot of sacrifice and not-very-nice things done in their names. still, it’d be interesting to try.

have your deities shown many signs of their existence? and if you don’t mind me asking do you have any tips on staying sure of your path and not doubting your deities and stuff? that’s my problem at the moment i think.


My response:

Yes, actually, they have. At least, my main one has. Djao’Kain [ʒaʊ-keɪn] is Xer name, and I have at least one friend who has had conversations with Xer in their own mind. (I specify that because anyone who talks to me can have Djao’Kain talk with them through me.) Also, the same friend told me once about a time when she read about something going on in Iraq during the most recent war there, I don’t remember what exactly, but it prompted her to ask Djao’Kain to deal with the situation non-violently, and the next day there was this humongous sandstorm in the area, disrupting whatever it was she asked that favor for. It’s just the sort of thing Djao’Kain would do, too, being a chaos Deity.

As to your other questions, it helps that Djao’Kain has left a copy of Xerself inside my brain, so I can talk to Xer whenever I please. But yeah, I do still struggle with “is Xe real or just one of my Aspects?” When I’m feeling doubtful, I generally resolve it by remembering that Xe is very useful either way, seeing as - among other things - Xe has acted like a live-in psychologist for me, and Xe once stopped me from attempting suicide. Oh yeah, and Djao’Kain has this interesting ability to know stuff about me before I do, and hint strongly at it (essentially beating it against my head for months or years until it gets through my thick skull), which is useful.

As an example, I was referring to Djao’Kain as “the Deity with Multiple Personality Order” due to Xer having a bunch of different Aspects with different personalities (yet all tied in together via a hub Aspect)* - and the Ah’Koi Bahnis people of Xer planet Traipah showed a marked tendency to be healthy Multiple systems - for YEARS before I even knew Multiple systems could be healthy, years before I knew the members of Multiple systems could coexist without memory gaps and communicate with one another without help from an outside person, and years before I realized that - DUH - the reason I was so frustrated and confused was because I was laboring under the delusion that I was a singlet.

Then, a more recent example is that from the beginning, the AKB were quite obviously on the autism spectrum compared to humans, years before I knew what autism/asperger’s was, let alone knew I had it. And I’m certain Djao’Kain was the one putting these things in. For some reason, Xe can’t tell me these things directly, can only sneak things through into my writing and other ideas, and I have to figure it out based on Xer clues. But who knows how long it would have taken me without Xer help?

Then, also, I remind myself of the evidence outlined above. And also remembering that all (or at least most) Deities began as someone’s imagining, so why should my having created Djao’Kain make Xer any less real than others? Always assuming, of course, that Djao’Kain did not simply claim me as Xer own, put the ideas about the Yahgahn faith and the planet it hails from in my head, and let me take the credit for “inventing” Xer and the others. Which, now I think on it, is totally something Xe would do.

* = Djao’Kain: Buy one Deity, get like - what’s it up to now? Seventeen? Eighteen!? - get eighteen free! | Djao’Kain: When you want a Deity that is a Russian nesting doll! | Djao’Kain: Pantheon in a box!

Which actually, looking up the exact number of Aspects for that joke made me realize I haven't posted about the latest one, and haven't even written Her into the official list yet. Hell, I had to hunt like a mofo to find the right file just to remember Her name. So, a post on that soon.
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
I just had a funny thought: Since Djao'Kain is a Multiple, with - currently - 18 Aspects, if Her worshipers on Traipah decided to stop believing in all other Deities but Her, and rewrote things so that She and Her various Aspects were the only Deity in their faith... would that make them monotheists? Or polytheists?
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
I keep finding, more and more all the time, that worldbuilding and/or writing in my Traipah storyverse is how I deal with things in my own life I need to work on. Sometimes it's something in a story that points to something in me I need to pay attention to, like how for years and years there were things happening in the stories or worldbuilding stuff that had to do with Multiplicity, long before I consciously recognized that that's what it was, and that it meant I was a Multiple too. Or how the entire societal structure of Traipah is ideal for me, or how the Ah'Koi Bahnis are basically all autistic by human standards.

Or, as in my latest project, a short story about a human visiting Traipah and going to something called Tahl'Bahn Continental Civic Park (like a National Park, but Traipah doesn't really have nations), which is in fact a centuries-old graveyard of sorts, where all the trees are grave markers, because they have a number of ways of disposing of the dead that are eco-friendly and end up with the remains being used to feed the Grave Tree, or "Memory Tree" (Coi'liir'morHK) as they call it. (Including Resomation, which is a real thing on Earth, and when I die I want to be Resomated.) So this particular civic park is a centuries-old forest made by people, because it was a former strip mine that nature was having little luck reclaiming after the Reformation, so they planted soil there, and started planting Memory Trees. I'm also going to include something I read about recently, where the dead body is put in the fetal position inside a biodegradable pod, and the sapling is planted just right so the roots go into the pod and use the decomposing body as food. (I even have a version that combines the pod idea with the Resomation idea.) And it's a very popular place to put people who have died, and as I mentioned it is centuries old, so here you have miles and miles of forest that's a mix of trees of all ages, and species. (Because everyone has their own idea of what kind of tree they want to feed when they die.) There may even be family trees: ancient trees that keep getting new remains added to their soil every time a member of that family dies. So, basically, you have new life arising from death, in a place that was once stripped bare of all life in the hunt for coal.

Now, some people have commented that this is a creepy idea, that such a forest would be creepy. And as I told one such person, yeah, sure it's creepy, if you live in a culture that fears death and shuns the dead. But Traipahni society isn't like that. The people of Traipah are very Pagan, both in the polytheist sense and the "revering nature" sense,1 and while this giant forest and others like it are pretty popular - worldwide - on Traipah, they generally do not have that desire to segregate the dead and the living the way we do. There are Memory Trees inside Traipahni cities, just like normal trees in Portland are everywhere, and several very popular Memory Tree species are fruit trees. There are even entire Memory Tree orchards, their fruits mainly used for strictly religious/spiritual purposes. This isn't seen as even a tiny bit creepy to the people of Traipah, because they're not afraid of the dead. They're not afraid of ghosts. They believe that ghosts can happen, but they aren't afraid of them. Their basic view of our fear of ghosts would be like an adult's view of a child who was afraid of the dark. (Or maybe a child afraid of rabbits.) To them, ghosts are harmless at worst, revered as proof of the afterlife at best.

For me, this represents both a little of my own views, and views I would like to have. I am afraid of dying, because that's the culture I was raised in. But I want to be unafraid, or at least merely nervous as opposed to the overwhelming terror I feel when I let myself really think about dying, by the time it happens. The Ah'Koi Bahnis... I wouldn't say they're unafraid of dying, but the subject of death isn't segregated from the rest of life like it is with us. Us, we put our dead in special areas underground and/or behind tall fences, often outside city limits if we can, marking the graves with stark stone slabs or statues, as if to highlight the fact that they are places of death. All graveyards I've seen have a kind of uniform, sterile, non-living quality to them, even when they have trees and bushes in them. And we don't talk about death much unless we have to, and when we do, we often joke about it to disguise our discomfort and fear.

Whereas the people of Traipah consider death just another part of life, both figuratively and literally. The dead are not viewed like a candle flame snuffed out forever, but as just another form of life. In fact, to them dying is like the reverse of being born, but they don't view conception and birth the same way we do, either; they don't view it as creating a new life, but as creating a new vessel for an existing life-form... a life form of pure energy, an immortal spirit come to have a mortal experience, which it will do again and again after it "dies." This is deeply ingrained in their culture. It even bleeds into aspects of their culture that aren't immediately apparent. Like, thanking the spirits that once inhabited what has become their food, for their sacrifice, and wishing them well on their journey in the "between-life."2 This makes sense for animals eaten by the Duenicallo and Shaokennah, but even the Ah'Koi Bahnis do this for the plants they eat. In farming/gardening, the person picking fruits or removing other parts of a plant that will continue to live after this is done to them, that person will ask permission first before harvesting, and then apologize for the necessity and thank the plant for its sacrifice. It is considered just as heinous to mistreat an animal or plant as it is to mistreat a person, but most Ah'Koi Bahnis (though herbivores themselves) have no problem with the Duenicallo or Shaokennah eating meat, so long as the animals are treated with respect and compassion, and the proper rituals are observed (those thanks and apologies mentioned before), because they don't view plants as being any less intelligent or less worthy of respect than animals, and therefore see little difference between killing an animal for food as they do their own killing a plant for food. Also, they're very friendly with the Duenicallo, and the Duenicallo are obligate carnivores. And, thus, most AKB would look down their noses at anyone who claimed that merely being a meat eater was a lapse of morality. (Though they freak the fuck out at factory farms. The cruelty aside, the very notion of treating any living being like a mere product or resource is utterly reprehensible to them, and so, much about capitalism in general would have them going ballistic on people. The animal cruelty would turn that into "going nuclear" on people.)3

I got a little off track there. But basically, living beings are spirits residing in a vessel.4

So yeah, I strive to change my own view of death 100% over to the Traipahni view of it, to transmute the terror of dying to something easier to deal with, by the time my time finally comes. Because while I do believe those same things, it's not the culture I grew up with, and so it's not deeply ingrained like it should be.

Anyway, that's all for now.

Note: "MorHKahr seh Coi'liir" means "Forest of Memory," and in IPA it is pronounced Moʊrxɑ:r se kɔɪLɪəʳ (The x being a voiceless velar frictive.)

1 = Monotheism didn't exist on Traipah until the humans introduced it, and even then it never really took off; monotheists are an extreme minority on Traipah, and what few there are are more pantheistic than anything else. The closest Traipah came to inventing monotheism was a bi-theistic religion that was once popular.

2 = Since they view death as part of an infinite cycle in the incarnation cycle of spirits, they don't call it the afterlife, they call it the between-life, as in "between one lifetime and the next." It is viewed as a place for spirits to rest and relax before reincarnating again.

3 = Now, you might think with this, that their attitude toward abortion is pretty stern, and... well... you wouldn't be wrong, at least insofar as it applies to species native to Traipah. But it's... complicated. The Ah'Koi Bahnis have a remarkable degree of control of their own reproductive system (well, all races of AKB except the Yaingah do), and if they don't want to get pregnant, they simply don't. Whereas the other two sophont species can only get pregnant at certain times of the year, so if they avoid having sex at those times, they don't have to worry about getting pregnant. The Yaingah race of AKB don't have that ability. But there's nothing against contraception. Unlike a lot of humans, Traipahni people generally don't have any special feelings about conception. In fact, abortions up to a certain point are perfectly acceptable to most of them, because they generally don't believe the spirit has "moved in" to the body it's created, until the embryo is sufficiently developed to be able to survive outside the womb, with help. Abortions are always legal there, right up until just before birth, though any abortion done after the first quarter is generally frowned upon. (AKB have a 12 month gestation, divided into 4 quarters of 3 months each.) Socially speaking, AKB don't care what the other two species do in regards to abortion. Legally speaking, abortion is legal any time before birth. Since Traipahni people can impregnate themselves as well as others, paternity is hard to determine, and the father has no rights regarding the baby before it's born anyway, because the sanctity of bodily autonomy is one of the major sacred laws. The only time abortion is considered murder is if it's done to the pregnant person against their will. (Which also violates the sanctity of bodily autonomy.) And a conception resulting from rape or coercion/force is legally considered an artifact of the assault, and so there are no negative social or legal consequences of either aborting it or choosing to let it live, nor for either giving away the child or choosing to keep it and raise it.

4 = Until an outside spirit chooses to "move in" to a baby in a womb, the fetus is considered to be entirely filled with the mother's own spirit. And even after the outside spirit has moved in, the body still contains the mother's spirit as well, and since the mother was there first, she has first claim over it, until after birth. Then it "belongs" entirely to the baby's spirit.
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
I have updated The Yahgahn Statements of Faith (DW) (LJ), and Basic Sophont Responsibilities (DW) (LJ). I added the following to the Statements:

As a sub-point of "all sophonts have inherent worth and dignity, and are my brethren," I added the following points:

- What a person does with their own body, and who a person chooses to share their body with, and how, is nobody's concern but their own, and/or of the person or people they choose to share it with, regardless of their age. If they are capable of reason, capable of making choices, their choices are to be respected and not opposed or hindered, no matter what those choices are, so long as they do not violate the bodily integrity of another. (Assaults to the brain are included in this. Intrusions into the mind via telepathy or mere emotional manipulation are a bit of a grey area.)
- What a person wishes to have done, or not have done, to their body, is to be respected even in death, no matter what those choices are, so long as they do not violate the bodily integrity of another. The autonomy and integrity of a sophont's body is not to be violated, regardless of their age, as long as they are capable of reason, and capable of making choices for themselves. Any form of violation is an affront.

I also added this under "knowledge is sacred":

- As such, destruction of knowledge or art is an abomination and cannot be tolerated.

And the following was added to the Responsibilities:

9. Respect the autonomy and integrity of the bodies of your fellow sophonts. It is the most fundamental right for people of all ages to do with their own body as they please, and to refuse to have things done to their body without their permission even after they have died. Any form of violation of this right is an affront. Not permitting anyone who has achieved the ability to reason to do with their body as they will, counts as a violation of their bodily autonomy as well. Their choices in regard to their own body are theirs to make, and it is not your place to question those choices, nor to interfere.

Also modified the wording of #6 to add "or other things" to the list of potential differences.
fayanora: arch (arch)
Something else that occurred to me while watching that Taking of Deborah Logan movie, was that it made me remember a dream I had once where I was using Shao-Kehn's name and symbol (in the icon) to ward off demons and ghosts. Which was pretty awesome, I must say. And remembering that made me think about the Christian god, and how he's supposed to be this loving forgiving god (if you discount the old testament shit, which doesn't jive with the new testament), then something they said in the movie about cleansing with fire mixed around in my head with other ideas, and from there I had the thought, "What use is that kind of god anyway?" Because basically, I don't understand why you would want that kind of a god in a fight with a demon. I dunno about other people but if something scary was attacking me, *I* would want something scary that was on my side, to face it. Which is what Shao'Kehn is. She is a kind, loving, comforting, motherly Deity, but also She can be fucking terrifying when She needs to be.

In fact, that dream is not entirely just a dream. I have entered places with ghosts in them before, and felt them just long enough to know that the instant they see me, they flee in terror. I have become convinced that they're sensing Shao'Kehn, it's really the only explanation, as I myself am not scary.

LOL, had another thought, and it's funny. Now I'm wondering what Harry Dresden would see if he used his Sight on me. :-D I imagine he would see my protective sphere of red-hot barbed wire and razor wire and flames that is my empathic shield, only more intense because it would be Shao-Kehn's protective sphere rather than an empath shield. And Her burning eyes inside. But he would probably get a sense that She was benevolent, if a bit Protective Mama Bear like.

But yeah, it would be cool to see a horror film where a Pagan priest/ess is performing the exorcism, rather than a Catholic priest.
fayanora: SK avatar (Default)
Text and picture reposted from this Tumblr post. It might make more sense if you read the Tumblr version, since I think this excerpt makes references to things in other peoples' comments, and I don't feel like reposting the entire thing here.

The original picture:



My part of the post:

I totally get Tedd’s shock. I became aware of the concept of transgender pretty early on, around 15 or 16, but it didn’t really fit me. I started identifying as a trans woman online more out of it being the closest I knew to what I was, but privately had no idea what to think of myself as. At least, not until I read about the term “hermaphrodite.” Well, actually, the progression went more like this: A. Read term “hermaphrodite,” started using it to describe the people of this story I’d started to write, and their religion. B. Did not apply the term to myself. C. Figured out I was trans or something like it. D. Became obsessed with that story I was writing enough that I adopted the religion I’d made for them. E. Realized only then that I was closer to “hermaphrodite” than I was to male or female, and so privately began to identify as such. F. Realized I’m Otherkin, as one of the Ah’Koi Bahnis people I was writing about, which deepened the connection to “hermaphrodite.” G. Didn’t hear the term gender-fluid til… well, it’s hard to say. Only a few years ago, I think. I think I read it on Tumblr, but I can’t be sure. I have a bad habit of hearing information relevant to me and then watching it take months or even years to process it enough that I finally think “Hey wait, that’s me!”
A whole lot more )

Representation matters!

One more note )
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
Our collective really needs a new collective name. Since about 2005, we've just been "the Fayanora collective." But one of the members of the collective is named Fayanora, and so that's just kind of confusing. So we're trying to think of a name for the collective. We'll probably keep the Fayanora username on everything though.

Sat here with this much up for maybe an hour working on possibilities. And of course, it wasn't until I got up to get some food that the answer came to me:

The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective (or Shao'Mor'Terra)
Djao'Mor'Terra = (ʒaʊ moʊr teəʳə)

We are an incarnation of Djao'Kain. Incarnations of Djao'Kain are collectively referred to, by us, as Shao'Mort or Djao'Mort. With there being almost certainly life on trillions of planets in this universe alone, who knows how many Djao'Morts there could be. And so Djao'Mor'Terra specifies us as the Djao'Mort of Terra. (Or at least, the only one we know about.)

So from now on, if I'm speaking about the collective as a whole, I will call us Djao'Mor'Terra or The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective.

You can still refer to us by Fay or Fayanora if you want, though. This is done more for our own need of a differentiation than anything else.
fayanora: Memetically (Memetically)
Oh gods I love it when I get inspiration for new stories in my mythos. I have this great one now that will turn Grahbahn (deity of Life) into a dying/resurrecting deity whose sacrifice is more meaningful than Jesus's. She will be sacrificing Herself so life does not cease to have ever existed!
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
Well, the last few days have been quite productive for me. I did a bunch of drawing Tuesday while Amy was spending the night at a friend's house. Still, though I worked on it for several hours, I didn't finish the coloring for even one of the three figures in the drawing. But I got all the lines done and some of the coloring that day before my butt fell asleep. Then I finished the coloring for two of the figures today. And got some writing done earlier tonight, as well.

What I've been drawing this time is a modification of a drawing I did maybe a year or so ago. The original picture - of Ahndahn sitting in a meditation pose, next to a pregnant Shao'Kehn - is on my wall, drawn on paper. I took a photo of it ages ago, and recently traced it so I could colorize it. But before I did, I edited it to add Nahtahdjaiz between the two of them. The two figures I've finished are Nahtahdjaiz and Shao'Kehn. Still trying to decide on the color scheme for Ahndahn. According to the Noiionayya, She's supposed to have bone white skin and chalk-white hair, but I might go with more human coloring instead. (Human "white" with blond hair.)

Nahtahdjaiz's hair is cool in this one. I decided to make Her hair match Her eyes, so Her hair is a riot of bright colors - blues and purples and greens. It's amazing, especially with the highlights and other details I added to it. Also, I gave Her stripes again, but I did a lot better on the stripes this time than I did the last time. I'm quite proud of it so far.

I've been contemplating adding Nwoikis and/or Grahbahn to the image, it wouldn't be too hard now I've figured out what to do. Then it could be a family portrait like the one I started months ago and never finished because I didn't like it. But I don't know for sure yet.

Oh gods, I just looked at that one again, the "family portrait" one I gave up on. It's horrible! I can't believe I kept it. It's bad even by my old standards, but especially bad now with my current skills.

One last thing: I also finished cleaning up that new version of the old Kusahnjiijahn picture, where I've given Her better colorizing. Here it is:

Under the cut for size )
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
So a few days ago I got mildly annoyed that in the printed out version of my Kusahnia picture, Her skin is so dark it's hard to make out details. Which inspired me to make a copy of the original .ora file, open it, and go through a series of steps to get rid of the skin color so I could put new skin color in a layer beneath the lines, because it was a picture I drew before I began experimenting with layers. It turned out pretty well, and I will be posting it here:

Under the cut )

Also, yesterday I began the same process for Kusahnjijahn, but since She has more skin showing, it took longer to do. In fact, because of a back ache, I gave up before I was done cleaning up the image. I'll post it once it's done.

I'll not be redoing Kiin'Djahn, however. Or Ahgoi. Those stripes... I have no effing clue how to even BEGIN shading skin that's striped.
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
I added a background and new text to my picture of Kiishiiya, my Eternal Guardian Spirit:

Under the cut )
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
Well I've done some new art recently. First, I traced over an old picture I'd scanned in of Shao'Kehn so I could improve it by colorizing it. Then I did a picture of Jiijiinis and Alorno, deities of Health and Healing. I *was* gonna give them coral skin, but the set of corals/pinks I chose looked weird on them. So I changed to something more human. That annoys me, because I wanted non-human colors, but oh well. At least their hair is still green.

By the way, in case you forgot, Jiijiinis and Alorno are Vaishan, meaning their appearance - like Earth Chinese or Japanese people - is basically what people of the continent of Vaish tend to look like.

I am very proud of the Shao'Kehn pic for one important reason. For a long time, I have known in my mind's eye that Shao'Kehn's eyes are like backlit amber, and I have finally managed to figure out how to make Her eyes look backlit! WEE!!! Partly it was getting the right colors and doing them right, second part of it was putting some of the eye color in Her face's skin to suggest light from Her eyes lighting up Her face.

Under the cut for lots of big pictures. )

1 = When Shao'Kehn first came out of The Chaos, She was VERY angry, and challenged Ahndahn (the source of Her fury) to a duel. They fought and fought, neither winning, then fell in love with each other. Now they work together to keep the Universe balanced. The "Angry Eyes" picture is a representation of what Ahndahn saw when Shao'Kehn first arose.
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
Amy's grandmother recently died, and she has been naturally very upset. Last night I wrote this poem in honor of this woman I have never met, but who helped shape Amy into the wonderful young woman she is now:

“Morphahr Seh Taekah”
uuj = Fayanora Ahnabahn Tahlahmorgk

Karendai, grehn karendohr,
Karendai, uugaam morshaun,
Ko'kiln grehn, moisahl la aipahlih,
Tulon ehg mostaiso karendai-laniah,
Fiiehl bainah sada jophwaan.

Sehk sada zirrovais, grehj zirrkah kororra ahl;
Veh ulinit ihndohn voshet ahglor uugaam jayrahl.
Foht soh'kahlik, uugaam bain flo grehj zirrovais,
Ben morphahr seh taekah morphaikez.

Translation:

Despair, we weep,
Despair, they sleep,
Below us, under the world;
Yet as (we) feel despair-everlasting,
It is not their final farewell.

With their soul(s), ours is always one.1
And some day we'll see them joyously.
For present, they are in our heart,
The fire of love burning.

~ ~ ~

What I like best about it is that it rhymes in both languages, though the rhyme pattern is different. The pattern for the TPNN version is: ABCCB DDEE, while the English is AABCD EFGH. Okay, so not a great rhyme scheme, and not done on purpose really, but still interesting.

1 = The zirrkah is the part of the soul that lives in other people, so this is not an exact translation. But it's the best English can do.
fayanora: Djao'Kain (Djao'Kain)
It used to be, back in Iowa, that whenever I did a ritual or other magick, it would rain. Which was no coincidence because Iowa air hoards water like a miser hoards money. So it was like the magick shook loose the water into rain.

Because it usually rains a lot in Portland, Oregon, I haven't been paying attention to any magick/rain correlations. But we've been in a kind of drought lately, it hasn't - to my knowledge - rained for weeks, which is highly unusual for Portland in the winter.

So imagine my surprise when I finally end a weeks (maybe even months) long ritual drought of my own by doing a ritual last night, mostly to calm myself down but also just because, and the next day I go outside and it's raining. Coincidence? I doubt it, in this case.

And because we've needed it so badly, I've taken to chanting a sort of magickal song I came up with, partly in English and partly in Trai'pahg'nan'nog:

      Praise unto the rain, unto the rain, unto the rain!
      Make this rain sustain, and maintain, maybe gain!
      Praise unto the rain, unto the rain, unto the rain!
      Make this rain sustain, and maintain, maybe gain!

And various other rhymes, like "rain falls on the earth, on the earth, fills us with mirth" or "assuage our pain" to rhyme with rain, and so on.

TPNN part:

      Viishoo ahgahg ahlahr, gweb-piikyl, gweb-piikyl!
      (vee shoo ah gog ah larr, gweb peek uhl, gweb peek uhl)

Translation:

      Maintain/sustain current/present action, rain, rain!

And of course the alternate:

      Viishoo ahgahg ahlahr, ahgahg ahlahr, ahgahg ahlahr, gwebpiikyl, gwebpiikyl!

Translation:

      Maintain/sustain current/present action, current/present action, rain, rain!

And I have now been doing it long enough today that it's going through my head, which I don't mind in this case.

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