"I dunno"

Jun. 9th, 2015 04:26 am
fayanora: Processing (Processing)
You know that feeling where someone asks you a question, and you can't think of anything to say in response? I just now realized why I get that feeling all the damn time: my sluggish cognitive tempo, possibly comorbid with something else, makes it so I get stuck in a loop of "a question has been asked, I should answer it. But what's the answer?" and can't seem to get around to actually thinking about an answer until the pressure to answer eases up.

So friends and acquaintances: if you ever ask me a question, and I say something like "I dunno," that's code for "I can't answer right now; I need time to process this, even if only for a few seconds/minutes while you look away and do something else to get the pressure off me."
fayanora: Processing (Processing)
When I'm in "the zone," where the words flow so fast my hands can barely keep up with my mind, I can type so fast that my computer sometimes has trouble keeping up. But I have some issues that prevent me from getting an accurate typing speed:

1. It only works when I'm "in the zone," which I cannot call up at random, and does not apply to anything pre-written.

2. Tests that test how fast you can type pre-written text is worse than useless to test me because by default I actually read what's on the screen, and my reading speed is ridiculously slow, because my sluggish cognition slows down the process of translating written words into spoken in my head, and then those words into images. Add to this the fact that I have issues translating words into images, and it's very frustrating. And no, I do not know how to just type the letters I see on the screen; my mind cannot contort itself that way.

TLDR = I'm great at translating my thoughts into words, but words into thoughts is fucking HARD.

3. One typing test I took a bit ago showed me that if the test is just a bunch of random words in a line, that's even worse, because my brain still tries to read it and keeps tripping up with the constant "WTF???" moments.

4. I make corrections as I type. I misspell about every third or fourth word when I'm going fast, but my corrections only take a second or less. Even with that in mind, I can get unbelievably fast, but most typing tests count not only my mistakes as mistakes, but also my corrections as mistakes.

5. Every now and then, I have random stalls. I don't mean moments where I pause to think about something (though that happens a lot too), I mean moments where my brain just... stops, goes on pause for anywhere from several seconds to several minutes, thinking of nothing at all. This can happen at any time, for any task. It's been known to cause me to have people repeat things, because my brain was just active enough in those stall moments to realize I was being spoken to, but it didn't process what was being said. These stall moments happen very rarely when I'm in "the zone," but with other forms of writing they are common.

6. I can't even use typing tests I made myself, because my brain still treats it like regular text and defaults to actually reading it, slowing down my potential typing speed.

7. Not sure, but my brain does not seem to be able to process text as anything but words, without sitting there a couple seconds or so to switch gears. Which makes math a right pain, let me tell you, but also probably explains why I can't just type the letters I see on the screen, since my brain doesn't see them as letters, but as words.

8. Needing to switch gears increases the odds of a stall, and lengthens the stall time when they do occur.

9. Sometimes my brain does this thing where it's reading the words but forgetting to process them. For however long these moments last, my brain is essentially looking at the words like they're pretty drawings, and not treating them like words, meaning I have to go back and try again.

So yeah, I have no fucking idea how I'm ever going to get an accurate top typing speed for myself.

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